Since August? Really? February 8, 2011

WOW!! I knew I had fallen off the blogging wagon, but since August?? Ok, well that is going to stop. I am going to try to post once a week. I know it doesn’t sound hard, but that is ambitious to me! Funny story from last night to get this blog going again:

Lilli crawled into bed with Kris and I at 4:40 this morning. She never gets into bed with us, but I was too tired to question the reasoning, so I tucked her into our covers and rolled over to go back to sleep. She then started kicking the covers off herself (she hates covers) telling me, “I don’t need these”. Normally I would explain to her how cold it was in our room and how she needed to put on the covers, but I decided she would figure it out and I was tired. She proceeds to toss and turn and kick the blankets so I nicely ask, “What are you doing, child?” She then announces, “It is still dark outside, I am going back to my room.” Hahah…she cracks me up! I think she thought it was time to wake up and Kris and I were just being lazy in bed. When she realized it was still “night time” she curled back up in her bed and went to sleep. I thought it was hilarious!

Supermom! (I wish) August 30, 2010

I have this slight problem that I want to be supermom, but I am not equipped to do it! I never had to clean my room or do a chore wile growing up so cleaning is a fairly foreign concept to me. Somehow my sister got the cleaning genes and they skipped right past me! I read my friends blogs, remember my mom growing up, and talk to my mother-in-law and wonder why I can’t seem to get it together. I really enjoy my job and try to be as productive as possible while I am at work and leave work at work (although difficult when work is school). I then come home and want to spend as much time playing with Lilli as possible since I was unable to see her all day. I look around my house and it is a DISASTER, but would be worse if not for my wonderful husband who does a lot of cooking and cleaning since I seem unable. I made an unspoken decision that Lilli would come before a clean home, but my mess is starting to swallow me up! I always thought…well if I stayed at home my house would be clean because I would be there to clean it. Truth is, it wouldn’t because I would be there to mess it up too. How do supermom’s go to work, grocery shop, cook, clean, make time for their husbands, and raise well-rounded children? I am at a loss, but I think Lilli will be getting a lot of chores as she grows up to “earn her keep”. 🙂

Return to Blogging August 23, 2010

So it has been a long time since I have last written. I would like to tell you it is because I was on a big adventure that I can’t wait to share with you. Unfortunately, it is because I didn’t have much to say. Although life is busy, I don’t think much of it would be interesting to the general public. I have thought about talking about some of my days in the lab, but somehow I think that would only interest about 2% of the population and they are working with me. 🙂 But today, I decided that starting a blog again might be a good outlet for me to just ramble.

So the funny thing about completing 2 years of medical school and then stopping is you don’t actually get to see your knowledge play out. We learn about diseases and the pathophysiology behind those diseases, but we don’t see patients with them. Then I started graduate school, forgot about 85% of what learned, and what do I do with the 15% of material I still remember? Diagnose myself of course. In the last few months I have had diabetes, a brain tumor, an autoimmune disease, a horrific virus, and I am sure many more diseases that I just can’t remember. I have no idea what a patient with each of these conditions actually looks like, so if I have a symptom or two that fits, that must be my problem. So I obviously don’t have any of these illnesses, but I do think that I am a little stressed and need to find ways to relax. My plan you ask (as I am sure many of you also need to relax)? Me time!!! I am going to spend time exercising daily (even if it is just “light” yoga…the kind where people who can actually do yoga just relax while I try to contort my body into positions it just doesn’t like). I joined a bible study on Tuesday nights. I have been trying to wake up early to read…just for me. And finally, a blog….to escape the craziness and remember the fun and funny things that occur everyday! With a 2 1/2 year old there are a lot. (You must not tell Lilli she is 2, she is 2 and 1/2.)

Enjoy your day! Take some time for yourself!!

The Oxygen Battle March 4, 2010

Background: My poor dear Lilli was sent home from school last Friday with a fever of 103. She seemed to be doing ok until Sunday when I noticed she had neck retractions from trying to breathe so I gave her inhaler and we went about our day. That night we got home and her breathing wasn’t any better and she looked a little bit grey/blue, which of course freaked us out and after a lot of discussion about what to do I announced “we are going to the ER”. We went to Lovelace Women’s Hospital and were seen in about an hour and after X-Rays and a nose swab (YUCK!) were taken we were admitted to the pediatric observation clinic. The X-Rays suggested that she had pneumonia and the pediatrician diagnosed her with bronchiolitis. They kept her in the clinic until Tuesday morning on oxygen that they were delivering through a mask. Luckily by Monday afternoon she only needed oxygen when she was sleeping. The nice thing about using a mask in the clinic is that they have pretty much an unlimited oxygen supply so they just turn it WAY up so the mask just has to be close to her face but not actually touching her. They sent us home on Tuesday morning with orders to use oxygen while Lilli sleeps. This sounded great until I realized that we were only going to be given a tank (a limited supply) of oxygen so we could not deliver the oxygen through a strategically placed mask. No, we were going to have to use nasal cannula. Tuesday night went ok, but she did not get oxygen like she should have because she kept ripping the cannula out of her nose.

Jump to Wednesday night: Kris and I decided that our new strategy would be to let Lilli go to sleep and wait until she was in a fairly deep sleep and then put on the oxygen. IT WORKED….ok, for about 10 minutes until she woke up screaming. We continued to try this technique until we got so frustrated and worried because her oxygen sats were dropping to 83% (normal is above 93 or 94% at our altitude). The battled ensued. We decided to hold her down, put the cannula in her nose, and then tape the tubing in place on her face (as is often done in the hospital). We figured she would get used to the feeling and be fine and that even if she began to fight we could outlast an exhausted 2 year old. After all, we had age and numbers on our side. We definitely underestimated the stamina of our sick, exhausted, and oxygen deprived 2 year old. It was 2 against one and I was up first. I held her tight which she didn’t like so then we played a little to get used to her cannula, which she did until I tried to rock her to sleep and the screaming began again. Then I laid with her in bed…nope…that was just play time. Kris decided that mommy was too nice and this was going to take a firm hand. (Can you feel the hours ticking away yet…yes, hours…not minutes). Kris was up. He rocked her like a baby in a firm grip to keep her hands from touching the cannula…she screamed as he reasoned with her explaining that the oxygen and funny things in her nose were necessary. She screamed for mommy so I laid down on the floor by the door to hide from her as Kris put her in her bed and tried to put her to sleep. This was play time too. I was almost asleep on the floor, but I couldn’t let her defeat me. I think at some point this battle became a matter of principle as much as a way to get Lilli to accept her necessary treatment. I finally got fed up and told Kris I would take over if he would go take care of the dogs. It was my turn again…it was late…I was tired and frustrated and had resolved that I would be victorious in this battle. We walked and rocked in her chair and sang and made up songs and drank juice and played with her oohooh-aahaah (monkey for those of you who are unfamiliar with your animal sounds). She asked for more juice…I refused. She asked for water…I refused. She asked for milk…the light bulb went off! Warm milk…great trick…why didn’t I think of that. I screamed for Kris…no answer. Maybe I wasn’t loud enough….I screamed louder….no answer. I threw my hands up in frustration, disconnected the tubing from the oxygen tank, grabbed Lilli and walked to the kitchen to get some warm milk. As I walked by the couch I realized that we had one man down…Kris was asleep. I yelled at him…out of frustration…but he didn’t budge. I went and got the warm milk myself grumbling the whole time (I know…good attitude…I am a lovely wife). I was tired, my morale was down and Lilli was winning. How could a 2 year old be winning? This was my last attempt. If this failed she was going to sleep with oxygen saturations in the 80’s and she was going to live through it. I rocked her as she drank her milk. She was distracted and her hands were busy so I was in luck. Her head got heavy and her eyes closed and finally…yes finally…she was asleep! I WON!! I mean…WE WON!!!! And it was only 12:40 am. We then curled up in our sleeping bags on the floor of Lilli’s room and fell asleep.

Follow up: Lilli is fine. She still has low oxygen levels but the doctor said he thinks she will be off oxygen by Sunday and she will be back to school by Monday. She still has more energy than a lot of healthy kids I know! I think she gets her energy from her dad.

Consequences January 16, 2010

When I found out I was pregnant I began reading literature and websites about how to raise a child. One of the most repeated pieces of advice was to set a good bed time schedule and to never put your child down to bed with a bottle. There were 2 reasons given. First, it is bad for your child’s teeth and second it will be hard to take away as your child gets older. I was very conscious of this advice until Lilli was about 10 or 11 months and I couldn’t get her to go to sleep. That night I let her fall asleep with a bottle and it worked so well and she slept so well that I decided that she could have a bottle at night. I thought that maybe my child would be the one who just got sick of the bottle and it wouldn’t be a big deal. Lilli is now almost 2 and it is time for the bottle to “go bye-bye”. Unfortunately, the advice was right and I think I am in for a miserable transition. I tried not to give her a bottle last night and I think she cried for an hour and a half until I finally gave in (I know…I shouldn’t give in…but I really, really like sleep). It is interesting what we will do for instant gratification. I knew from the beginning what the consequences of my actions were, but it was SO nice to not have to walk Lilli around my house for an hour or rock her in a chair or listen to her scream. I really convinced myself that I was different and that the consequences didn’t apply to me. The very thing I was trying to avoid (lack of sleep) is that very thing that I am experiencing now, but probably will be even more frustrating. I think we all do this in various parts of our lives. We have been warned about the consequences of our actions and yet we decide that our instant gratification is worth the future consequences (until of course we are in the future). Just some food for thought and wisdom I am gaining from raising my daughter!

My Funny 2 year old January 14, 2010

Lilli  is almost 2 and we have moved her to a “big girl” bed. The first nights were great because she had no idea that she could actually get out of bed. She has now learned and bed time has turned into, put Lilli in bed and read a book or two…walk out of Lilli’s room…Lilli bangs on bedroom door screaming mommy, mommy, dadda….mommy walks in and changes a usually dirty diaper, puts Lilli in bed, reads a book and walks out…Lilli sings and talks and pounds on her bedroom door screaming mommy, mommy…mommy can’t take it so she goes back in lays her head on the bed, reads a book, kisses Lilli goodnight and leaves…you get the point of the endless cycle. Last night I decided (after the dirty diaper change) that she just needed to go to sleep all by herself so I left her in her room talking and doing whatever a 2 year old does. She FINALLY got quiet. I went to check on her (fully expecting to bump her with the door when I tried to open it) and found her asleep after exhausting herself with books and puzzles. HAHA…well…bedtime has to get better at some point!

A Simple Blog January 13, 2010

This is my first blog and I do not intend to change the world with anything I post, but instead I hope to entertain many with the occurences of my day-to-day (or month-to-month depending on how diligent I am about updating) life. I also intend this blog to be a transparent view of me, so maybe you will find encouragement in the fact that another person’s life seems chaotic and out of control. Finally, I am horrible at scrapbooking, keeping a journal, or writing down in any form the cool things that happen, so hopefully this blog can serve as an archive of meaningful events in my life as well as the members of my family. I hope you enjoy reading!